A fun game of sexual discovery for all ages!

This makes me so happy

“Me and Abby? Well Mom, we actually, uh, broke up.  I don’t know what happened, everything seemed so perfect.  Then one day she tells me she ‘doesn’t really see a future for us.’  I just…no, Mom..Mom, that’s not what happened.  How is this my fault…but I…NO, I DONT ALWAYS DRIVE THE GOOD ONES AWAY!   I’m sorry I snapped at you, but I just miss her so muuu…I’ll have to call you tomorrow, I might have found a way to get her back…”

kurtb:

Saddest real product I’ve seen this week. Or “Ladies’ Cosmetics: WE PREY ON FEAR!”

“Oh honey, I’m so glad that we finally found our dream home!  Yes, I called about putting in a bid…I mean, I will call…today.  I realize I promised to do it last week, but I forgot.  I just said I’ll call today.  I know it’s important! This does not happen every time.  What do you mean you’ll just do it yourself? I said I’d do it, and I’ll do it…now leave it alone.  Of course it’s still available. Why would they keep the listing up if it wassssSONOFABITCHSIGNDONTRUINTHISFORME!”

“Please email all comments, questions, hymns of praise, tithing records, and pictures of sacrificial offerings unto The Swirl Master.  For He alone presides over all things sweet and delicious.  Gaze upon His mighty confections and despair!”