“Me and Abby? Well Mom, we actually, uh, broke up. I don’t know what happened, everything seemed so perfect. Then one day she tells me she ‘doesn’t really see a future for us.’ I just…no, Mom..Mom, that’s not what happened. How is this my fault…but I…NO, I DONT ALWAYS DRIVE THE GOOD ONES AWAY! I’m sorry I snapped at you, but I just miss her so muuu…I’ll have to call you tomorrow, I might have found a way to get her back…”
“Oh honey, I’m so glad that we finally found our dream home! Yes, I called about putting in a bid…I mean, I will call…today. I realize I promised to do it last week, but I forgot. I just said I’ll call today. I know it’s important! This does not happen every time. What do you mean you’ll just do it yourself? I said I’d do it, and I’ll do it…now leave it alone. Of course it’s still available. Why would they keep the listing up if it wassssSONOFABITCHSIGNDONTRUINTHISFORME!”
The New York Times would like to issue corrections for the wedding announcement of Mr. Adam Penview to Ms. Katie Jasper that ran in yesterday’s paper.
We incorrectly identified in the announcement that Mr. Adam Penview and Ms. Katie Jasper were married at the Church of the Holy Trinity in…
Mizz Megan Amram