"Me and Abby? Well Mom, we actually, uh, broke up. I don’t know what happened, everything seemed so perfect. Then one day she tells me she ‘doesn’t really see a future for us.’ I just…no, Mom..Mom, that’s not what happened. How is this my fault…but I…NO, I DONT ALWAYS DRIVE THE GOOD ONES AWAY! I’m sorry I snapped at you, but I just miss her so muuu…I’ll have to call you tomorrow, I might have found a way to get her back…"
"Oh honey, I’m so glad that we finally found our dream home! Yes, I called about putting in a bid…I mean, I will call…today. I realize I promised to do it last week, but I forgot. I just said I’ll call today. I know it’s important! This does not happen every time. What do you mean you’ll just do it yourself? I said I’d do it, and I’ll do it…now leave it alone. Of course it’s still available. Why would they keep the listing up if it wassssSONOFABITCHSIGNDONTRUINTHISFORME!”